Self-love has often been seen as akin to selfishness, vanity and being full of it! This is far from the truth. Self-love centres on self-esteem and loving your inner being. No matter how good your booty looks in them jeans, if you do not love what’s under your skin, then real self-love cannot manifest within us. Self-love is the art of realising what you deserve. You don’t have to sit in front of a mirror thinking you’re above everyone else. There is a distinction between self-love and narcissism.
Those that truly love and respect themselves project positivity, whereas those that do not tend to release concoction envy, insults and snootiness. You might have heard the old saying ‘you have to love yourself before others’. It holds truth because self-love is the prerequisite to loving others. We should all give ourselves a bit of self-love.
How often do you doubt yourself? Thought you weren’t good enough? Are you too harsh on yourself? Never took up an opportunity because you were scared to fail. We are all guilty of this. Think about a time where you have overcome your fears or thought that you could never cross that hurdle, but you did. How did you reward yourself? Did you at all?
I love myself because I matter! A lot of people have believed this, let alone saying it. We are always thriving under pressure to be perfect. Perfect body, perfect family, perfect career. We continually beat ourselves up and put ourselves through so much stress to achieve the unattainable. Loving yourself is like a rebellious act these days. So let’s walk this walk.
Make your own company
I remember in my early twenties I had a few hours off work and my colleagues were busy. I twiddled my thumbs for ages but then decided to have lunch by myself. Most people I know would never dream of doing this, but I enjoyed myself. It was empowering! You don’t always need to be with someone all the time. By being alone or allowing yourself to feel lonely, you eventually get comfortable being with you and your own company.
Enjoy yourself. You will feel more comfortable with yourself and recognise your good qualities.
Do things for yourself
I know this is a mighty hurdle, but once you’ve taken that step, you will be pleased with yourself. Take up that class. Go to the gym. Bake yourself a cake. Pamper yourself after a hard week. Take time out and be a doer! Nothing that you do for yourself is a waste of time.
You will feel more accomplished, and your confidence will grow.
Replace ‘look’ with ‘feel’
Do you feel good doing this? Do you feel sexy in that? Do you feel great about this? Self-love and happiness is is a mindset that that cannot be bought. You may go out looking great but by the end of the night you are haggard but that great feeling you had…that’s what matters!
You will feel and be more attractive and draw more good into your life.
Nourish your body with a plethora of good food. Plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Keep hydrated with water and not drinks loaded with sugar and addictive’s. Go organic. Get exercise and be mindful of hygiene. Looking after your health is a form of self-respect. It’s funny how we service our cars but do not invest in our bodies as we do with cars. Look after your health.
Your health will improve, and you will look, feel and be better.
Be at peace with your past
Be at peace with your past. Forgive yourself. Let that tosh go! You are allowed to make mistakes! Everybody makes them, and most of us discover, learn and grow from them. Don’t beat yourself up or apologise. Give yourself the freedom to take a risk. No more hang-ups.
You will overcome of self-doubt, fears and guilt.
I mean really relax! Focus on your breath and learn to breathe deeply. This will help bring equilibrium to your body and reduce stress levels. Try and do nothing, think of nothing absolute stillness. Meditate. Get a massage, have a bath a relaxing bath in salts. You will be a better version of yourself and less stressed.
Those who have issues with loving themselves often compromise their safety and engage in behaviour where they are at risk. Identify areas in your life where you have done this or are doing this and put your safety above everything else. Is your house fitted with a fire alarm? Do you park in a well-lit place? Do you tell friends and family where you are?
You will feel more sense of security and self-respect.
Set boundaries and be more assertive. Say no to others and yes to you. Do not undersell yourself and what you have to offer. Look after your needs before anyone else’s. Be bold and brave and take nonsense from those that don’t appreciate you. Opportunities will open up.
Talk to your inner self and former self
Praise yourself for all your accomplishments. Admire how great you feel and look. Love those lumps and love handles. Tell yourself! Show yourself! Love thyself. It’s a lifestyle. It’s is a state of mind! The more you do this, the more you will grow and learn to love yourself truly.