‘You’re now writing for a health and lifestyle magazine which does spa, fitness, and product reviews!?’ asked one of my mates.
We’d gone to the pub for a catch up after he’d read the last article I wrote on here.
‘Mate, could you be more of a woman?!’
In fairness to him, it wasn’t such a bad question.
It’s increasingly hard to be a man! Years ago your doctor would’ve been a man, your nurse was a woman, soldiers were blokes, hairdressers were ladies/women, priests were male, and page 3 models were…OK, not all things have changed. But, it’s increasingly tricky to define what’s ‘masculine’ anymore.
Nobody likes to talk about their sexual health. It’s a topic a lot of people are uncomfortable with. But, if you’re old enough to have sex, you should be old enough to talk about it. It’s something I’ve only recently realised.
I knew something was wrong when I woke up on a hospital floor. I’d broken my nose, smashed my teeth and blood was coming out of my eye. It wasn’t ideal.
I’d been doing corporate role play; pretending to be a patient for training doctors. I had to pretend to be catheterised (that’s when they stick a pipe in your pipe so you don’t wee!) But, don’t worry I had a prosthetic penis. I had to pretend this was my real ‘little soldier’ and to act out in pain so doctors and nurses know what to expect when they go onto the wards and do it in real life.
The first trainee surgeon must’ve been a tree surgeon – he was very gruff. He manhandled my plastic manhood and made me feel dizzy. Next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor.