I firmly believe that we meet people in life for a reason and that external relationships are a mirror of the internal relationship we have with ourselves.
In the same way that our thoughts attract our reality in life, the thoughts we have about our self will attract a certain type of partner. It was only when I learnt to truly love, accept myself and realise my worth, that I attracted a man who was worth having a relationship with.
We don’t meet people by chance; every single person we meet will help to teach us the lessons we need to learn to grow and develop in this lifetime. Sometimes we need to experience the bad to realise what good feels like!
We all have lessons that we can learn from love and relationships, whether we are single or in a relationship, what better time to reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly lessons we can learn from these experiences than on Valentine’s Day?
1. Forgiveness is the key to letting go of relationships of the past.
True forgiveness is one the greatest gifts you can give to yourself to help create a life filled with love. Learning how to forgive is one the most powerful tools in life, as letting go of past pain gives you the opportunity to be truly happy in the present. It is only in the present that we can start redesigning our future, rather than being a victim of our past. I feel that forgiveness isn’t about forgiving the other person, but more about being able to forgive ourselves so that we can move forward in life. When you are finally able to forgive a person or situation, it will feel like the biggest weight off your shoulders – trust me! Also, who finds bitterness, resentment and jealousy attractive qualities?!
2. Relationships teach us one of the most important lessons we can learn; self-worth.
Once we realise how amazing each and every one of us is, we send our powerful signals that we are worthy of someone who treats us with respect, love, compassion and consideration. When we act and believe that we know that we are good enough for a loving and trusting relationship, the right person will be attracted to us, or a current partner will continue being attracted to us. There is a difference between realising our worth and arrogance. I believe, that arrogance usually comes down to being insecure and the need to make themselves feel they are better than others. A person with high self-worth will realise we are as equally important and worthy as each other.
3. Relationships enable us to trust in the part of us that will never let us down – our intuition.
Did you ever get that feeling that someone just wasn’t right for you in the pit of your stomach, but you chose to ignore it? Even if a relationship went horribly wrong, you could have faith that your intuition always has your back!
4. Not everyone in life is going to like you, but that’s okay.
Whether it is in love, friendships or at work, there are going to be people who you just don’t click with. Trying to make these people like you will lead you away from who you are, so never to try to please someone who doesn’t like you. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life and it is better to concentrate on your life and how you react to someone who doesn’t like you. A better way to deal with it would be to ask yourself what feelings are being brought up for you?
5. Revenge is never sweet.
Whether it is an ex or a current relationship, trying to get even can just make a situation worse and leave you with plenty of regrets. Even if someone has treated you badly – trying to hurt them won’t solve the original problem. A good lesson we can learn from any relationship is that either walking away from a person or forgiving them is a much better decision. Anger only creates more problems for us mentally, emotionally and physically.
6. Blaming others never helps the healing process.
Although it may be easier for us to blame others for an argument or a relationship that has gone wrong at the time, if we can look inside and ask ourselves what was our part in the situation, it can help us to heal and learn important lessons. Lessons that can then be used to strengthen a current relationship or allow us to have a better relationship next time.
7. There are going to be bad times in any relationship.
Being able to accept that no one is perfect will help you whether you are single or in a relationship at present.
If there is a trait, you really can’t accept in a partner, remember that unless someone wants to change it is impossible to make them. I believe we can change who we are and how we react to someone, but we are unable to change another person. Nor should we want to; true love is unconditional.
It is important to remember that relationships will have good and bad times and that even when you meet your soul mate, there are going to be many rocky patches. This will help you to master the lesson of acceptance of others. Accepting that no one is perfect could either save a relationship or help you to see someone new through different eyes. How many times have you dismissed someone because they weren’t quite right?!
When I met my current boyfriend, it took me 3 months to fancy him! Even though I think he is gorgeous now, I realised I was just afraid of getting hurt or being left. If you feel you are too judgemental about others, but your intuition is telling you to give them a chance, then have a look at what your subconscious belief patterns about love and relationships. Many people aren’t aware that we all have subconscious beliefs about ourselves and relationships, and that most of our life is ruled from the subconscious part of the brain.
Charlotte Lewis is a Love and Relationship Coach, and founder of The Love Life Agency – an online monthly subscription coaching website that helps men and women find and keep the love of their life.
With weekly coaching videos that include useful tools, challenges, yoga and meditation. There are different weekly themes that will motivate and support you on the path to finding true love. Upon joining the website, you can also join a community of people who are committed to working on themselves so they can find love.
For your free 7-day mini video challenge this Valentine’s Day go to www.thelovelifeagency.org to sign up.
If you would like a free 30-minute 1-2-1 coaching call as an introduction, please contact Charlotte at email@example.com to arrange.